Do you like change? No, I don’t mean pocket change (that is one kind of change I think anyone can agree is fun to have a little extra of), but change in general? I know a lot of people struggle with it.

I am the kind of person who likes to try new things. Sometimes I need to take a little time to wrap my head around an idea. Sometimes I have to process. Sometimes I have to research (and research, and research) to accept change. But change is generally not something I fear. In fact, I often enjoy change. I like purging parts of myself for something new and different. I like the process of self-discovery.

Change is inevitable, isn’t it?

This beautiful couple that modeled for me a couple of years ago (you can see my images of their session here), has experienced the changes that life brings.

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Recently they announced that were expecting a baby boy, after a long battle with infertility. I’ve seen many near and dear suffer through the heartache that is infertility. The changes that are coming in their lives are so exciting!

 

This beautiful family has also experienced change…

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…another child, a new home, a new car, a new job, a new degree. So many positive changes, and I love celebrating those wonderful changes with people I love dearly.

But I know that sometimes change isn’t always good or wanted. I’ve seen friends and loved ones experience the hard part of change, and I’ve experienced it myself.

After I got divorced eleven years ago, I knew I was ready for the change. It was something that had been coming, and building over the 4 short years we were married. I knew I enjoyed my ex-husband, but I knew that I wasn’t supposed to be married to him. I could feel it in the deepest parts of my soul. But, I hung on, and I tried really, really hard. But it wasn’t right for either one of us, and I think we both knew it. At this time in life part of my processing and preparing for the change, was going through and making sure that I could handle being a single parent. I had a job that paid my bills. I had a few debts, but if I moved in with my parents for a few months, I could pay them off, and I’d be able to afford rent. I had everything right and ready in my mind, and when my then-husband said he didn’t think he wanted to be married anymore, I was already prepared to be done. It was actually a major relief.

I didn’t imagine I’d date anytime soon after the divorce. I knew what I didn’t want. And I knew what I did want. I knew I wanted security. I found that in Jason, somewhat quickly.

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Over the years there are some things that I’ve come to learn: Jason got out his traveling and exploratory nature before we met. He takes very seriously his roll of financial provider to our family. He is practical and predictable. These things mean that Jason doesn’t always want, appreciate, or seek change. That means we sometimes make for a terrible couple. I’m pushing for change, he’s resistant. He usually wins.┬áMaybe that’s good for me. Maybe that’s what I need? But it can sometimes be hard when I crave a change.

However, one change we made as a family six years ago, was to be sealed for time and eternity in the Bountiful, Utah LDS Temple. That is a change that has blessed our lives. Life isn’t always easy, but there’s nobody I’d rather change (or not change) with forever.

 

 

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